The Final Zone

The ramblings of a nerdy bisexual twentysomething socialist wannabe-author.

You'll find a lot of talk about Doctor Who, bisexuality and then a mix of general fandom stuff here. (Warning: May contain some ranting.)

I'm lucky enough to have a wonderful girlfriend/soulmate, Caitlin, who makes my life far richer. Once she described as "like a very sensual monkey." I'm strangely proud of this.

And Grace Holloway thinks I'm pretty.









Dear STFU-Moffat and associates,

From now on, I insist you describe Steven Moffat as “Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat.” Just to make sure you’re being fair.

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat is a queerbaiting hack

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat’s writing features sexism and overly complicated plots that don’t really make any sense.

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat has characters needlessly tell the viewer information that he should be showing them.

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat is incapable of creating real emotional stakes in his stories.

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat calls teenage mother a ‘slut’ in DVD commentary

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat says bisexuals are too busy having sex to watch television, and therefore don’t need representing.

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat thinks asexuals are too boring to write about. 

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat thinks that rather than having a female Doctor, it’s about time a man played the Queen despite the fact that men had all the roles of any kind for over 400 years.

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat thought his wife looked like a boat when she was pregnant, and couldn’t wait for her to get back to her previous size.

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat writes emotionally abusing relationships based on obsession and an adult imprinting themselves on a child, and then tries to pass them off as somehow “romantic”.

Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat had one of his self-insert characters tell the one bisexual character on the show “I think you’re terrified you’re not interesting enough, so you make up any old rubbish just to try and get attention.” and then try to disprove her bisexuality by showing her pornography. This began the romantic relationship between the two characters.

(via coolspacedad)

Just a note, I will find it very hard to take the opinion of anyone seriously if they try to defend Moffat by saying that the quote about women being needy is actually about the mindset of Patrick from Coupling. Patrick is a figure so self-absorbed that he’d never be able to make such a generalisation about other people, so I find it nearly impossible to believe that Moffat was talking about him. Now, it would sound right coming out of the mouth of the main character Steve… Who is Moffat’s self-insert character.

 Jane: “Don’t get me wrong, Oliver, I’m a very sexual person! In fact, I’m a very bisexual person, so I sort of double up on that.”

Oliver: “Yeah, yeah, you’re just frightened of naked people!”

Jane: “There’s naked, and there’s naked!”

Oliver: “You’re not bisexual!”

Jane: “I’m sorry?”

Oliver: “I don’t buy it!”

Jane: “You don’t what?”

Oliver: “And I don’t buy the crazy, wacky Jane thing. I don’t buy the you ‘follow the philosophy of plants’ thing. I think you’re terrified you’re not interesting enough, so you make up any old rubbish just to try and get attention. Do me a favour, look in the mirror! The way you look, as if you have to try!”

Jane: “I am so bisexual!”

Oliver: “Yeah?”

*he holds up the porn magazine*

Jane: “OK!”

*she flinches*

Oliver: “Jane, I’m a science fiction fan. I run a science fiction bookshop. It’s the headquarters of lonely. I am the boss of sad. You can fool everyone else, but you can’t fool me.”

  1. Coupling

The show’s sole bisexual character is Jane. In the first episode, she avoids a breakup with her boyfriend (Moffat’s avatar in the show) by tantalising him with information about how she’s been with women in the past, which makes him speechless and unable to break up with her.

Later on, she is established as rather delusional, believing in one episode that being bisexual means she can date gay men. This sets the tone for the rest of the series. Jane’s bisexuality is constantly doubted, and in the final episode, her new love interest confronts her with a pornographic magazine, and her disgust at seeing a naked woman is shown as proof that she isn’t bisexual. She is comforted by him saying that she doesn’t have to pretend about any of that stuff to impress him. Because that’s what bisexuality is for. To impress guys.

  1. Sherlock

Irene Adler’s not bisexual, she’s just a lesbian with a crush on/in love with a man! No! No bisexuals here! Bad bisexuals! Keep away! Move on, quickly!

  1. Doctor Who

Captain Jack’s profile was written by Russell T. Davies. He said that Jack would happily “shag anyone”, but that it wouldn’t come up much in the series itself. Moffat took this as a challenge, and established his wide array of sexual conquests. In later non-Moffat episodes, he was allowed to mature somewhat.

River Song is, according to Moffat’s twitter, happily bisexual. The only indication of this in the show is a one off joke in Silence In The Library where she establishes that the reason Lux has his helmet on is because she doesn’t fancy him, indicating that she presumably does fancy the female member of the crew. Funnily enough, this is still probably Moffat’s best representation of bisexuality.

Oswyn mentions her first crush as being on a girl called Nina while flirting, but is very quick to dismiss it as “a phase”, because Moffat couldn’t have left that line out, could he? If she remained bisexual, why, he’d have to write her as a punchline from here on in!

In conclusion? An awful track record, and one that doesn’t look to be ending any time soon.





Sherlock DVD Commentaries A Scandal in Belgravia
↳based on this transcript

In which Moffat once again exhibits his inability to imagine any sexuality but heterosexuality, such as asexuality.

It’s funny that Moffat seems to find the idea of asexuality to be so boring because I think most of us thought the character was more interesting when it seemed likely he was asexual or at least anything other than straight (as it made him even more of an atypical male lead). Certainly, though, one could argue (and many have), that Irene’s attraction to Sherlock is the more problematic part of it— the show has had several gay male characters and it would be nice if Irene and Kate weren’t the end of the (seemingly) LGBTQ female characters, considering Irene in particular is very much the sexy-woman-who-supposedly-loves-women-but-we-mostly-only-see-her-liking-this-man sort of LGBTQ woman that seems to be all we often get on TV…

Though honestly this episode didn’t even really bother me that much. The writing is still otherwise more or less excellent (as usual). Hopefully someday Moffat will just learn to think a bit differently about gender and sexuality in his writing.

Oh god I have so many problems with this episode. Not the writing, no, it’s interesting and entertaining as usual, it’s just… Hold on, other people says it better than me. Like this thing I read earlier. But that’s more to do with feminism/gender than sexuality (while of course related), and making Irene’s power a sexual one rather than an intellectual one.

The fact that she says she’s gay yet ends up pursuing Sherlock (and the fact that she has plenty of male clients) very much reminds me of the whole No Bisexuals trope. Of course, behavior does not equivalate identity, so identifying as gay but still occasionally being attracted to men is not something I would judge a person on, but as a character, we’re not really given enough nuance and depth there to really believe it.

But yes, there is a lack of queer female characters, which is a general trend in TV, except for when they’re fetishised, which Irene very much is - it’s practically the point of Moffat’s version of the character.

The problem with Moffat is that he doesn’t seem to WANT to learn. Every criticism is replied to either with a snarky comment or a complete failure to see the point. So honestly I don’t have much hope.

When it comes to Moffat and “No Bisexuals”, I can’t help but think of Coupling, which in many respects is a great series, and possibly the best sitcom I’ve ever watched, but intensely problematic in how it treats the sole bisexual character, Jane.

Her bisexuality is brought up in the first episode as she attempts to stop her boyfriend from leaving her, trying to turn him on by talking about things she’s done with women. It’s treated as purely a device to attract men. 
By the final episode, she’s been shown a picture of a naked woman and appeared visibly disgusted, and her male love interest tells her that she doesn’t have to pretend to be bisexual to be interesting, suggesting she just does it for attention.

So yeah, Moffat’s pretty damn awful with this stuff.

(via theheroheart)

(From an idea by the lovely cosmicsyzygy)

Doctor Who

  • Classic Who
  • The TVM
  • New Who
  • RTD (he deserves an entry of his own)
  • Big Finish (particularly Eight and Six)
  • The DWM Comics (particularly The Glorious Dead arc)
  • The EDAs
  • The theme music! Delia Derbyshire perfected electronic music.
  • Eight’s shoes! They fit perfectly!
  • Torchwood
  • Faction Paradox
  • Iris Wildthyme
  • In fact, everything by Obverse Books.
  • Fitz/Doctor/Lucie shipping.
  • The Sixth Doctor’s coat.
  • Cosplaying.

The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya

  • The Anime (Series 1, 2 and the movie)
  • Haruhi-Chan!
  • Nyoro~n Churuya-San
  • Sound Around
  • The character singles!
  • Itsuki Koizumi in general.
  • Cosplaying.
  • Karaokeing Maggaare Spectacle. With the dance.

Douglas Adams

  • Dirk Gently
  • The Hitch Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy
  • City Of Death
  • The Pirate Planet
  • The Salmon of Doubt
  • For taking Lalla Ward to the premiere of Empire Strikes Back, and setting the standard thereafter for the perfect geeky date.


  • Jeff Murdock and his insane theories.
  • The Giggle Loop, The Sock Gap, The Melty Man, The Nudity Buffer, Captain Subtext… Oh so many more.
  • I ship Giselle/Dick Darlington.

Sonic The Hedgehog

  • Of the main series: All the Mega Drive games, Knuckles Chaotix, and Heroes-Generations. And the Rivals games.
  • To a lesser extent, the Adventures.
  • Everything about Sonic 2006 except the gameplay.
  • Sonic The Comic (Fleetway, not Archie!)
  • The crossover fanfiction by Manwards.

Rocky Horror

  • The Rocky Horror Picture Show
  • Shock Treatment
  • The Rocky Horror Show
  • Dressing up to go to the above.
  • Richard O’Brien in general.
  • Listening to as many versions of the soundtrack as possible.
  • And singing along.
  • Jumping to the left.
  • Stepping to the right.
  • Putting my hands on my hips.
  • Bringing my knees in tight.
  • And the pelvic thrusts that really drive you insane.
  • Doing the above again.


Jane and Jake the Snake

Coupling S02E05 - Jane and the Truth Snake